Gotta have ’em, gotta give ’em

A hug is a form of endearment, universal in human communities, in which two or more people put their arms around the neck, back, or waist of one another and hold each other closely. (Wikipedia)

I’ve read that when you hug someone, it relaxes muscles, increases circulation and releases endorphins in your body. Hugging can also increase levels of dopamine and serotonin, which can boost your mood and relieve symptoms of depression.  Some articles suggest a minimum of eight, hugs a day for good health .  Now there’s a prescription I can get into!

 I can’t imagine a world where we greet friends with a simple nod.  A nod is reserved for the person that you encourage to go ahead of you in the grocery line or the driver on your right who wants to merge.  A nod was never intended for the friend you haven’t seen in a while, your sister,  your children or grand children.  We need to hug.

This thought struck like a lightening bolt.  What if there isn’t a vaccine for this virus soon?  I know experts are working on the problem, but many say it might be a year before there is a vaccine. Once someone says, ‘Hey I found it’. The next step is FDA approval, then testing to be sure it really works.  Next is production, the first few months might provide thousands of doses.  Thousands isn’t many when you consider there are about 330 million people in this country.  We can certainly understand the first responders and health care workers are first in line.  Approximately 3.5 million vulnerable folks are residents of nursing homes and assisted living facilities, they have to be in line, the military has to be on the scene early. Once we have all of those folks vaccinated against the virus we get down to the rest of us.  I don’t mean to be a negative nellie here, but you and I aren’t going to see any vaccine at our primary care provider for quite some time.  I really need a hug.

In the meantime we are practicing social distancing, I understand one way aisles at the grocery store, I understand we won’t stand side by side to fondle the tomatoes.  I would appreciate it if you’d just grab one though, I mean really it is just a tomato, most of the time they have no flavor anyway, they just add a bit of color to your BLT. 

The plumber came to look at an outside project yesterday, he wore a mask and stood ten feet away from our front door.  Under normal circumstances I’d have invited him in but instead Monty went out to meet him.  Normally Monty would have offered a hand shake but that didn’t happen either.   These are strange times.  It is hard to get all the protocol straight.

So I guess for the foreseeable future we  won’t be shaking hands and I gave up looking for facial cues, the masks hides those smiles or grimaces.     I want to visit our long time friends and get that familiar bear hug, I want them to know they are loved and I want to feel loved.  I want to visit my sister and get an honest to goodness hug not stand at her gate and try to carry on a five minute conversation. We stand six feet apart and shout at each other  (hearing aids or mask it’s an either/or deal))  We holler, hug, hug as I leave but it is just not the same at all. 

Monty and I feel fine and we have sheltered at home except for an occasional  trip to the grocery store.  We have the usual concerns, did we unknowingly pick up the virus from the door handle in the refrigerated section?  Did we remember to carefully wipe the cart?  I heard coughing, did someone sneeze on the celery? Who knows, but the possibility of transferring germs we might have picked up to family or friends keeps us isolated.  

We talk to both of the children in Phoenix often, we know they are doing their best to shelter in place and are feeling fine.  Will they come to visit on Mother’s Day?  Nope . Monty and I have kept our circle small, actually just us, but there are seven grand children in the two families, their circle is much broader.  I’m going to miss those hugs.

Will we lever earn to accept Facetime and Skype as substitutes for real interactions?  Will our next doctor visits be on our laptop?   Will all our music arrive via YouTube instead of concert venues? Will stadiums and arenas be empty for ever?  This gets more discouraging the longer it goes on.  

I see two possibilities for our future,  the vaccine arrives and we all get vaccinated, let’s see will that be maybe 2022 or 2023. OR everyone gets the virus and we develop protection thru the herd.  That is something everyone has been trying to avoid, too many people won’t make it out here on the Serengeti.   

The novelty of isolation has worn off, I don’t think we can maintain this  lifestyle forever.  I mean really, two months seems like a lifetime already.  Frankly, I’d like to wander around in Target just for the heck it.  I’d like to pick up a prescription without fearing the virus I might catch would be worse than the disease the prescription is controlling.  A good home cooked meal has lost its appeal.  I’m ready to sit down in a dining atmosphere, at a table with a real tablecloth, and  browse the menu while enjoying a glass of wine.   

I really need a hug.

 

12 replies
    • Carrie Bonello
      Carrie Bonello says:

      I’m sending you a virtual hug, it’s not as good at the real thing but will have to do for now. hug-hug

      Reply
  1. Pat
    Pat says:

    Never really thought much about hugs before. They are like many things we take for granted and don’t appreciate until they’re gone. After “this” is all over perhaps we’ll all have a lot more appreciation for many things.

    Reply
    • Carrie Bonello
      Carrie Bonello says:

      I love hugs, to a hug says so much, I love you, I value you, you are special to me. I can’t imagine not hugging you when we meet for lunch or say good bye for those three reasons and many more! Hugs to you Pat!

      Reply
  2. Geoffery seaver
    Geoffery seaver says:

    Maybe someone will invent a hug robot that can be linked to Facetime and we can do “real hugs” via the internet and bluetooth. Well, maybe not.

    Reply
    • Carrie Bonello
      Carrie Bonello says:

      That is so not the same at all. Robots and computers are just not soft and cuddly, good try thought!

      Reply
    • Carrie Bonello
      Carrie Bonello says:

      Can’t imagine seeing you without a getting a hug. The sooner we get back to hugs the better.

      Reply
  3. Glenn Gilmore
    Glenn Gilmore says:

    Will i’m with you whether an A-frame or a full on body hug we took them for granted, now we know what they meant to us. so heres my hug to you and thanks your musings.

    Reply

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