The Rhetorical Question

I know it’s a rhetorical question. ‘Did you find everything OK?’  If you are like me, the answer is sure, even if I couldn’t find the capers, I say sure, after all I’ll find them next trip.  I go to the grocery store once a week, even though capers come in a tiny jar I’m bound to find them next trip.  Aren’t they supposed to be with the condiments?

Our local grocery store installed new freezers in the frozen food section .  I’m sure they were excited when they discovered these two rows of freezers could replaced the three that were originally in the same space.  Now they have more room for kitty litter on the next aisle.  

The freezers are beautiful, well lit and the doors snap shut with a resounding click.  So while I was cruising down the aisle admiring the lighting and the many boxes of Eggos, why a store would carry fifteen different kinds of Eggos is a mystery to me.  Aren’t kids the only ones who eat Eggos?

Anyway when I finally got to the veggie section I wanted the Green Giant green beans with slivered almonds.  Well, there they were snuggled on the very top shelf between boxes of spiraled acorn squash and riced cauliflower.  Now I realize how they have more room for kitty litter, the shelves are considerably taller than the old ones.  Short of  carrying a step ladder with me we are never going to have green beans with slivered almonds.  I waited to see if someone taller (that could pretty much be anyone) was going to wander down the aisle but the reason I shop at this particular store is the lack of traffic, so no luck, not a soul is in the freezer section.  I decided to try something different, within reach, and discovered a bag of Bird’s Eye breaded green beans.  That’s sounds interesting, we’ll try those.  

Well, long story short they were the best thing since sliced bread.  Pop them in the oven for fifteen or twenty minutes and they are crunchy and delicious.  We just ate them like finger food, they would be perfect for dipping too.  We loved them, ate them all.  OK something new for the menu, yay! 

The next couple of weeks I scoured the frozen Bird’s Eye section looking for my new favorite veggie.   No luck.  I figure either everyone loves them or no one wanted to even try them but whatever the reason, the shelf was empty. 

When that rhetorical question was asked, ‘Did you find everything’ I verbalized my disappointment over the breaded green bean situation. Hmmm, now the checker has to actually do something, so she asks  Harold, the older gentleman, who bags for her, if he ever saw breaded  green beans.  Harold  looks perplexed, but as I’m setting my groceries on the conveyer belt, Harold is moving in close to be sure he knows what he is looking for and I have to explain it twice while he is way closer than social distance allows.  

To his credit, Harold, scurries off to the frozen food section, he returns a bit later with a nice looking box of PF Chang’s breaded green beans.  OK, not what I hoped for, but he made the effort and I wasn’t going to reject his offer.  Oh, they’re on aisle 7 by the way.  

The checker adds the beans to my tab and I hurry home with my treasures.  While unloading the groceries I notice there are only two cans of tomato soup and two cans of chicken broth, (not to be used together) that’s funny I’m sure I picked up three of each.  Hmmm, I dig the receipt out of the garbage and I didn’t pay for three so it’s all fine.  

Later that evening when I start to make scalloped potatoes I realize there isn’t enough milk, how can this be? I picked up two half gallons  this morning. So I dig the now soggy receipt out of the garbage again and nope, didn’t pay for milk either.  Then the replay comes to mind and I realize some of my groceries were stuck on the landing zone before the moving belt and when Harold was snuggled up way too close I totally forget to give the groceries that final shove.  

Good grief could grocery shopping get any worse, Oh yes, when I reviewed that soggy receipt for the third time, I noticed I paid $6.99 for 22 ozs. of breaded green beans. What do you suppose a green bean weighs? These have become ‘special occasion’ beans.  We could have had a beef roast for that price!  I sure hope those damn green beans are good.  

Next time I hear the question, ‘Did you find everything’, I’ll just say yes, it’s less complicated. Oh, I found the capers, would you believe, on the top shelf between pickled beets and pearl onions.  I jumped twice and was able to grab two tiny jars in one hand.  

I’m putting on a happy face, I mean where else can you get this much excitement during a pandemic?